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Joke of the Day! ;)

Good, bad, why not share!

Moderator: PashaEscorts

Joke of the Day! ;)

Postby HamiltonsEscorts » Thursday, 2 March 2017 18:37:03

Joke of the Day! :lol:
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Re: Joke of the Day! ;)

Postby Sugarbabes_International » Monday, 13 March 2017 14:12:44

On that note -

Q. Why did the Irishman fall out of the window?

A. He was ironing his curtains :lol:
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Re: Joke of the Day! ;)

Postby HamiltonsEscorts » Monday, 13 March 2017 19:18:59

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the 19th hole.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign over the bar that reads:

COLD BEER: $3.00
HAMBURGER: $5.00
CHEESEBURGER: $6.00
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $6.50
HAND-JOB: $25.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary cash, the old golfer walks up to the bar
and beckons the attractive bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.
She glides down the bar to the old golfer. “Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile.
“May I help you sir?” The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers,
“Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?
She looks into his wrinkled eyes, and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes sir, I certainly am.”
The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly,
“Well then, be sure to wash your hands really well, because I want the cheeseburger.” :neutral:
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Re: Joke of the Day! ;)

Postby Sugarbabes_International » Thursday, 16 March 2017 14:02:00

A man sits in a bar just staring at his drink for about twenty minutes. A big guy
comes up to him, takes his drink and drinks it down in one. The man starts to cry.
The big guy tells him not to cry as he was only messing about and offers to replace his drink. "That's not the problem" said the man "What a day I have had. Started off, the alarm didn't go off so I was late for work and got sacked. Going back to my car, it wasn't there - someone had nicked it . When I got home, I realised that I must have dropped my wallet on the bus - all my money - gone. I then go upstairs to
find a note from my wife on the bed saying that she's left me. And, just when I
think about killing myself, you come along and drink my cyanide.
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Re: Joke of the Day! ;)

Postby HamiltonsEscorts » Thursday, 16 March 2017 18:29:57

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality: "Today we live in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"

A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?

********************************************************************************************************

Mr. White, the biology teacher at a posh suburban girls' school, asked during class: "Miss Smith, would you name the organ in the human body that, under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Smith gasped, then said snottily: "Mr. White, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you that my parents will hear of this."

With that, she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. White called on Miss Jones, and asked the same question. Miss Jones, with complete composure, replied: "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Mr. White. "Now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you: one, you have not studied your lessons. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
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Re: Joke of the Day! ;)

Postby Sugarbabes_International » Friday, 31 March 2017 08:31:11

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York.
The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and.........OH... MY GOD!"
Silence followed.
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilt coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!"
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled.......
"For the luvva Jaysus......you should see the back of mine!”
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Re: Joke of the Day! ;)

Postby HamiltonsEscorts » Thursday, 3 August 2017 15:38:12

I met a chinese girl when I was in Shanghai. I asked her if she could escort me for a city tour and asked her for her phone number, so I could call her.

She got excited and said: 'sex sex want free sex for tonight"

Wow, I'm guessing this is how chinese women express their hospitality!

But then, my friend interpreted for me and told me what she really said

666136429
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